Third Trimester

So, I'm not sure what the timeline comparisons from adoption to pregnancy usually are. But, I kind of feel like we are in the third trimester of our "paper pregnancy" now. That's right! We completed one more big step in the international adoption world. Log In Date (LID). This means that China has our paperwork and application and they have accepted it into their system. This is the official end of our big "paper chase" that we have been working on since we started our home study in November.

This is something kind of fun that many people on our agency fb board (our awesome "support group") does. They often make fun pictures to announce the big steps in the process. So, I thought I would join in. Things like this are fun to do, especially when you're amidst the pressure and stress of the process.
So, next, our paperwork will be translated and then, finally looked over for approval. We already have a Pre-Approval to adopt Carissa. So, they have seen some of our information, but not all of it. So, this step (LOA) will be our final approval. This step can take from 30 to 90 days. Most come in about 60 days. We are really praying for a 45 day approval ;o), just to make it a bit quicker.

So, that's where we are at now. Possibly about 4 to 5 months to travel to pick up our girl..... October!....It seems so far away, but also like it's coming up fast....Like, it will be here before we know it. We have lots to do to prepare to have toddler in the house again. So, I'll make the best of the wait, and hope the busyness helps the time pass faster.

In the meantime, we still need to make about $12,000. This is basically travel and the mandatory $6,000 orphanage donation. I have applied for several grants, but we won't hear about those until close to travel and they are a long shot, something we can't rely on happening, so we still need to attempt to raise some more funds. I'll be going ahead and going back to my job at the school, once school starts back up, until we get close to travel. So, that will bring in some more funds.  But, we also have the puzzle fundraiser going on.

We have three pieces sponsored so far. 249 pieces left. A good start. A slow start, but we are so thankful for every little bit. We don't deserve any of it. We know that. But, we are willing to do all that we can to bring our girl home, to get her out of an institution. Because she does deserve a chance. She needs a home, a forever family. Without that, her future does not look bright. Not only is she an orphan, but one with special needs. That puts the odds against her, to survive into adulthood, much less a productive, happy, fulfilling life. But, her future in a family, with a mom and dad that love her and siblings. We will do all we can to give a chance at a super bright future, a chance to reach her full potential. And most of all, she will be given the chance to hear about Jesus and hear all about how much God loves her and how all of us are adopted into His family. The most important family of all!

Info on the puzzle fundraiser:
$10 to sponsor a piece. You can sponsor as many pieces as you would like. You can donate through paypal, check in the mail (if you already have our address), or through our Pure Charity account. (Links are on the side of this blog). Leave a message as to what name and/or tiny message you would like on the piece. Once it's done, it will be framed where you can see either side, to show the picture and the names/messages. If you still have questions or want more detail, please see the previous blog post. Thank You!

The missing piece.

 

 

 

Isn't this a pretty picture? The top characters are Carissa's name in Chinese characters. The other words are words that we hope will become important to our sweet girl. And then a scripture that we feel fits. All on a background of Chinese holly (carissa flowers); one of the reasons we love her name. My honey made this picture for us to put on a puzzle. Why a puzzle, you ask? Well, that brings me to my next subject.

 

After researching various kinds of fundraisers, we came across a lot of puzzle fundraisers. And we thought it was a pretty neat idea. It's neat because Carissa feels like the missing piece of our family puzzle, in a way. So, a puzzle fundraiser seems kind of fitting. So, we thought we would try it out and pray it helps us raise funds to bring our precious girl home. So, this is how it works.

 

 

We will be "selling" each puzzle piece for $10 each. In exchange for the cost, we will put your name, family name and/or very small message on the back of the puzzle piece. If you buy more than one piece, your message can be a little bigger. It's kind of like a sponsorship. As we get pieces sold, we will put the puzzle together and send out picture updates as it's coming along. When all the pieces are sold and we have the puzzle put together, we will frame it where you can see the front and the back. It will be a keepsake for Carissa to have for many years to come, for her to see all who had a hand in bringing her home.

 

So, there are a couple of ways you can purchase these pieces. If you are local and see me, you can always give me the money in person and tell me what to put on the puzzle and I will do that. If you know my address (not sharing it publicly ;o) ) you can mail me cash or check and write a little note telling me what to put on the piece that way. You can also donate through the Paypal donate button on the side of this blog. I think paypal has a way for you to leave a message, so you can write a note saying how many puzzle pieces you want and tell me what name and/or message you would like on your piece. You can also donate through the PureCharity account (link on the side of the blog) (It's tax deductible) and then, leave me a message through email or this blog, to let me know that you donated and what you would like on your puzzle piece/pieces.

 

Also, please share, share, share. Share from your email, share on facebook. Whatever way you can share. There are 252 pieces to this puzzle. So, I'm hoping you can help me to spread the word and make this a great fund raiser.

 

Thanks in advance for all the prayers and support. We are getting closer to bringing our girl home everyday. We can't wait!

Tick Tock...

We have been getting a taste of what the waiting phase of the adoption is going to be like. It's a little bit unsettling. To have nearly all your part of all the paperwork and various tasks done and have to wait on others to do their part is hard. But, it also means we're getting closer. Closer to bringing our precious girl home forever. And that's a comfort.

This past month we have been working on getting our immigration approval. We had to send in our home study and application to USCIS and wait for them to set up an appointment to get fingerprinted. Once the appointment was set up, Paul and I had to go in and get fingerprinted at the USCIS office in Phoenix.

Then we had to wait for them to approve us to bring a child from China into the US. It is called a I-797. We finally got that piece of paper on May 6th. This was one of the big steps in the process that could have taken over two months. For us, it took 23 days. That's actually amazingly quick compared to the average wait time. So, we were pleased with that.

Now, we have sent our home study and the I-797 to be authenticated by the Chinese Consulate in DC. That will possibly take a couple of weeks. So, we are waiting on that to come back to us. Once that step is done we will send those remaining two pieces of our dossier to our agency (CCAI), so they can send it all to China with our application. This step is often referred to DTC (Dossier to China).
What we will be waiting for first is called the LID (Log in Date). This is the date that China receives our dossier and logs it into their system and begins translating the documents. From DTC to LID usually takes a week or so.

Then the real waiting begins. After LID, we will be waiting on our Letter of Acceptance (Approval) or LOA. This is basically China's official approval for us to adopt Carissa. They will send the LOA for us to sign agreeing that we accept their referral of Carissa for adoption. This paper can take 30 to 90+ days to get after the LID. I think for most people it's about 60 days. This wait, according to those who have been through this, is a hard one. You reach the 30 day mark and from that point on you are on edge just waiting for that precious piece of paperwork. It's enough to drive waiting mommies a bit crazy. ;o)
Once we have LOA, we will be waiting for TA (travel approval). Usually travel approval comes 8 to 12 weeks from LOA. There are a few things to get done in between LOA and TA, so that will be a hard wait, but we will be busy with preparations, visa approvals, and packing, etc. So, I'm sure the time will go by a little quicker.

So, we are chugging along. We are getting there. Slow and steady. Our home study took extra long, but now we made up a little bit of time with such a quick immigration approval. Lets pray for the other steps to happen on the quick end too.
If things go well and at the average wait times, we are looking at October travel.

This month, we have also had a couple of really good fundraising events. We sold t-shirts and made $790 to put in the adoption fund. We also had a garage sale with our own items and donated items from many of our friends. We made $600 in one day with that one. So, we feel really blessed. Money to bring our girl home has been trickling in a little bit at a time and it really adds up. God has really been providing.

I have also been filling out grant applications. That process has been much harder than I had imagined. They really make you work for that chance to get a grant! Reality is that not everyone that even qualifies gets a grant. So, this one has been hard for me to get the motivation to follow through on. I look at the list of things required and the long applications and wonder if it will be a waste of time. But, I know I've got to try and if we don't get the grants, then God will work another way to provide. And most of all, every bit of work we need to do to help bring our girl home, is so worth it. She is worth it!

We've got about another $14,000 to fully fund our adoption. Sometimes if feels like so much, but at the same time, we have already been blessed by God's provision by generous donations, successful fundraisers and my job that is helping to trickle in funds. I know we will get there. We are already halfway there and that is amazing!
We still have the links on the side of this blog to our Pure Charity account. This donation is tax deductible and they send the money directly to our agency for agency expenses. So, if you are someone that is looking for ways to get tax deductions, this is a good way to go. You can also share the page with all your friends online.
We also have the paypal button for donations directly to us. These funds will help pay for travel expenses.
And also the amazon link really does work! If you make your amazon purchases using the link, we get a percentage of the amount you spend on that purchase, up to 7%. It's not a ton, but even the little amounts add up.

I just want to thank everyone for the prayers, the donations of items to the garage sale, those that bought t-shirts and the monetary donations. We are greatly blessed by an awesome community of family and friends that are helping to give a child a forever home. A home where she's wanted and loved and cared for. We can't wait to bring her home to such a loving community.

You're such great people!

More and more, I am hearing these comments. "You're such great people." "You're doing an amazing thing.", "You're such great parents, this girl is gonna be so lucky.", etc. While, I appreciate the comments and know that they come from great hearts and a lot of times they come from hearts of encouragement. I can't help, but think on these comments sometimes and cringe.

I'm realizing that some people may think that we have it all together and that is why we are choosing to adopt. Or that they just don't have it in them or have it together enough themselves to do such a thing. And while I truly believe that not all people are called to adopt themselves and I'm totally ok with that, It makes me sad to think that there are some people that think things like, "I would love to adopt someday...maybe when this is in place or that is in place, or when I'm better at this one thing...". Like, maybe they do feel the call, but are worried that they aren't qualified or good enough or just don't have it together enough financially, physically or spiritually, etc. to take that leap. And I totally understand that some may be making the right choice by delaying if they truly feel they need to get some things in order before they adopt. But, I also know, from experience that many people can find reason after reason to not do something they feel a call to do. They could end up delaying it forever, because they end up never feeling like things aren't quite "perfect" enough to begin the adoption journey (or whatever other thing they may be feeling the longing/ call to do.)

I'm here to tell you that we don't have it all together. We aren't great people. We're sinners. We don't always feel good enough or equipped to be doing this. Financially, we didn't have all the money together to pay for this journey. Spiritually, we don't have all the answers. We sin on a daily, probably hourly basis. We aren't perfect parents. We mess up; we make mistakes. We fall short on a regular basis. We don't have it all together.

What we do have is a great and powerful God! We have a God that will equip us. Through this journey, He will grow and change us and make us more like the person we need to be to take this journey. He has already changed us throughout this journey so far. He has made me more compassionate, given me a broken heart for the things that break His heart. He has made me a better parent. Seeing and becoming more aware of what some kids have to go through has made me more compassionate toward my children. I'm being forced to have more patience. No choice when you're having to do lots of hurry up and wait throughout this process.

I came across Moses story in the bible the other day and it really encouraged me. " Then Moses said to the Lord, 'Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since You have spoken to your servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.' The Lord said to him, 'Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not, I the Lord? 'Now then go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth, and teach you what you are to say.'" A couple of things strike me in this verse. God didn't tell Moses that He would fix his mouth before hand or even that he would teach him what to say before he actually left to go on the journey. God told Moses to Go first and He would teach him what to say. Also, God was sure to let Moses know who was in charge, that He made man's mouth and that He was in charge of what that said mouth would do. Moses felt totally inadequate to do what God was telling him to do, but God let Moses know that He was going to equip him.

So, I really feel like many times, when we feel the longing; the call to do something that seems really major to us. Something that we feel totally inadequate to do, many of us tend to delay or hold off, waiting to be better, feel more ready, to feel more equipped. When, maybe, just maybe, we won't actually get equipped until we take that leap of faith first. Maybe God will use the journey along the way, to teach us and equip us for what He wants us to do. Our entire life is like that anyway, right? We are always learning, always changing and growing. We won't ever really have it all together until we are finally with Jesus, living in God's presence.

So, what have you been waiting to do? Maybe it's time to stop waiting for everything to be in place beforehand? Maybe God is waiting for you to take that leap of faith first, so He can equip you along the way.

Step by Step

Well, we are getting closer to getting our girl. This week we received our court approval on our home study. We are officially certified to adopt, according to the state of Arizona! This was a big step that we were waiting on.
Now, we can apply to USCIS (Immigration) to bring a child from China into the US. This step will take up to 3 months. Part of the process includes getting biometrics (fingerprinting) done. Most of the time, this is approved within about 35 to 40 days, if they don't require extra information or anything. Please pray that this step goes smoothly and quickly. This step could be the difference between a fall or winter gotcha day.
After immigration approval we can send that and the home study through the same process as all the other paperwork (Secretary of State certification and Chinese Consulate authentication). This will take a couple of weeks. Then, everything can go off to China. So, lets pray for this all to happen by June. That would be a huge blessing!

In other news, we are doing a t-shirt fundraiser. Who doesn't love a good t-shirt? And all to help bring a child home to a forever family. Please take a look and share with everyone you know.

https://www.bonfirefunds.com/widner-adoption-fund

Exciting things

So, as I stated in the previous post, we had some things happen this month. We've had some ups, we've had some downs. And we've had a really exciting past two weeks!
 Less than two weeks after we had to deny a referral of a little girl, we got another referral. This one was for an amazing little one year old girl. And she is so precious, the cutest little thing you ever did see! And we fell in love. So, after less than a week consulting with a couple of doctors, praying, talking with family and friends and praying some more, we decided that we would love to bring this little girl home. After turning in a letter of intent to adopt this little one and waiting another week, China sent us our pre-approval. This means that they agree to let us apply to adopt this specific little girl. So, with great excitement, we introduce to you....

So, you see why we are praying hard for things to get moving along with our home study and uscis approval?!? We are just a little bit in a hurry to bring this little girl home. Please join us in praying for things to speed up. Please pray for little Carissa. For her heart to be prepared for this journey ahead for her, for her to be in good health and spirits. And please pray that she will be joining our family sooner than later. :o)

 John 14:18. "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you"

Current events.

So, it was an eventful month in the Widner household. Besides all the normal activity stuff with the kids and their school and their sports, we had several things happen on the adoption front.
A few weeks back we got a referral for a little girl. She was a beautiful 4 year old girl that was just precious. We were so close to saying yes to bringing her home. After talking to a doctor about her and reviewing her file several times, I just had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. She just wasn't our girl. Part of it was, we had an unusually short amount of time to review her file (we are talking hours) and part of it was just that something didn't feel right. We couldn't come up with a yes, so we had to say no. It was so hard to say no. After calling the agency with our answer, I just dissolved into tears. It's an extremely difficult thing to do, to look at a child's video, see her picture, know she needs a family and have to admit to yourself that you just aren't the right family for her. Heartbreaking!
So, we moved on, praying that God would bring that precious girl her family very soon.

In the meantime, we got nearly all of our paperwork for our dossier done.(paperwork that goes to China with our application to adopt). Every piece of paper (there are a total of 13) has to go through several processes. First, you have to notarize it, then you send it to the secretary of state for them to say the notary is legit. Then, you have to send it to a Chinese consulate for them to put a stamp of approval that the document is a real and legitimate document. It has taken months for us to gather 11 of these documents and send them all through the process. So, this picture produced an awesome feeling. 11 out of 13 documents notarized, certified and authenticated. Yay!

So, what we are waiting on now, is our home study to be finalized and approved. Arizona has the lovely additional step of having to go through the juvenile courts for approval. So, we have to wait for that now. We had some delays at getting to this point. So, we are praying that this will go quickly. We would love your prayers that this approval will take closer to 30 days and not the 60 days they are allowed to take.
After (or possibly while we are waiting) local court approval, our international placing agency, CCAI, has to look over the home study and make sure everything is just right. When they approve it, we can send it to United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS). Here they will, hopefully, approve us to bring a child into the United States. This time frame can be huge. Depending on if they decide they need clarification on something or proof of something we have in our home study. Please pray this will not happen and things will get approved quickly (quick is like 35 days for this process). :o)  Since, the home study is taking so much longer to get finished then expected, we could really use a break on this step.
After those two things are done, we have to send those through the same process as the other 11 documents. Then, we send them all to CCAI for them to look over with a fine tooth comb. (Hopefully everything will be perfect.) After they look it over, they will bind it up, make it look professional and pretty and send it off to China. And then the waiting begins...
I'm gonna have to double blog this one. Because, before I explain the rest of the process, I would like to let you know of another event that happened this past couple of weeks.
Stay tuned...