There are days on this journey that are just plain overwhelming. When you sit to work on some paperwork, to see what needs to be done next and you make the mistake of looking too far ahead, or you look at too much at once, or you realize you have a piece of paperwork that might have a mistake and it needs to be redone. And it just hits you, "This is so much! It's too hard!". And it just feels near impossible. I had a day like that.
I know better. I know to just take one thing at a time, but I made the mistake of looking it all over. I looked at dossier paperwork I needed to get done. Plus, I was beginning to fill out a grant application. At the same time, I realized I had forgotten to get something done that was on my list (in my not-so-high-functioning head) to get done this week. I also got a piece of paperwork in last week that had a mistake and it's taking me forever to get the person responsible to correct it. And so, I just sat there, staring at all this "stuff" and got completely overwhelmed. I just had to stop and take a break. And so I ended the day feeling like I had accomplished nothing.
But, God...
So, there I was, just getting to work, after my failed attempt at paperwork, feeling so "blah", when I get a call from my hubby. He proceeds to tell me that we had received a $1000 donation! I was floored! Totally unexpected! A huge blessing! And I felt like I had a bop on the back of the head. "See! I got this." That's what I felt God was telling me. It really made me feel like He was letting me know that He has got things covered. Nudging me to continue doing my part and not give up.
It is such a humbling feeling to know that there are people out there so excited to help. Some just as excited to see us bring our girl home as we are. Some even being led to give sacrificially to help us on our journey. I feel like I totally don't deserve any of this help, any of this kindness. But, I also know that this isn't about me at all. It's about an orphaned child. It's about God providing a family for a child. Most importantly, it's about this little girl, someday soon, knowing how much God loves her, how special she is. It's about her knowing that she may have been born into loneliness and abandonment, but that God has a plan for her. He never has and never will abandon her. And she really is a real, live princess! God's little girl!
So, I will take God's hint, this proof of His provision and I will march forward. Because we have a child to go find and I want to do all I can to bring her home. I'll take one step at a time, one piece of paperwork at a time. And I don't need to worry about anything. Because, whether or not this journey works out the way I hope it will, or as fast as I would like it to, it's going to work out for the best. Because, God's got my back!
Hebrews 12:1-2 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
