Tick Tock...

We have been getting a taste of what the waiting phase of the adoption is going to be like. It's a little bit unsettling. To have nearly all your part of all the paperwork and various tasks done and have to wait on others to do their part is hard. But, it also means we're getting closer. Closer to bringing our precious girl home forever. And that's a comfort.

This past month we have been working on getting our immigration approval. We had to send in our home study and application to USCIS and wait for them to set up an appointment to get fingerprinted. Once the appointment was set up, Paul and I had to go in and get fingerprinted at the USCIS office in Phoenix.

Then we had to wait for them to approve us to bring a child from China into the US. It is called a I-797. We finally got that piece of paper on May 6th. This was one of the big steps in the process that could have taken over two months. For us, it took 23 days. That's actually amazingly quick compared to the average wait time. So, we were pleased with that.

Now, we have sent our home study and the I-797 to be authenticated by the Chinese Consulate in DC. That will possibly take a couple of weeks. So, we are waiting on that to come back to us. Once that step is done we will send those remaining two pieces of our dossier to our agency (CCAI), so they can send it all to China with our application. This step is often referred to DTC (Dossier to China).
What we will be waiting for first is called the LID (Log in Date). This is the date that China receives our dossier and logs it into their system and begins translating the documents. From DTC to LID usually takes a week or so.

Then the real waiting begins. After LID, we will be waiting on our Letter of Acceptance (Approval) or LOA. This is basically China's official approval for us to adopt Carissa. They will send the LOA for us to sign agreeing that we accept their referral of Carissa for adoption. This paper can take 30 to 90+ days to get after the LID. I think for most people it's about 60 days. This wait, according to those who have been through this, is a hard one. You reach the 30 day mark and from that point on you are on edge just waiting for that precious piece of paperwork. It's enough to drive waiting mommies a bit crazy. ;o)
Once we have LOA, we will be waiting for TA (travel approval). Usually travel approval comes 8 to 12 weeks from LOA. There are a few things to get done in between LOA and TA, so that will be a hard wait, but we will be busy with preparations, visa approvals, and packing, etc. So, I'm sure the time will go by a little quicker.

So, we are chugging along. We are getting there. Slow and steady. Our home study took extra long, but now we made up a little bit of time with such a quick immigration approval. Lets pray for the other steps to happen on the quick end too.
If things go well and at the average wait times, we are looking at October travel.

This month, we have also had a couple of really good fundraising events. We sold t-shirts and made $790 to put in the adoption fund. We also had a garage sale with our own items and donated items from many of our friends. We made $600 in one day with that one. So, we feel really blessed. Money to bring our girl home has been trickling in a little bit at a time and it really adds up. God has really been providing.

I have also been filling out grant applications. That process has been much harder than I had imagined. They really make you work for that chance to get a grant! Reality is that not everyone that even qualifies gets a grant. So, this one has been hard for me to get the motivation to follow through on. I look at the list of things required and the long applications and wonder if it will be a waste of time. But, I know I've got to try and if we don't get the grants, then God will work another way to provide. And most of all, every bit of work we need to do to help bring our girl home, is so worth it. She is worth it!

We've got about another $14,000 to fully fund our adoption. Sometimes if feels like so much, but at the same time, we have already been blessed by God's provision by generous donations, successful fundraisers and my job that is helping to trickle in funds. I know we will get there. We are already halfway there and that is amazing!
We still have the links on the side of this blog to our Pure Charity account. This donation is tax deductible and they send the money directly to our agency for agency expenses. So, if you are someone that is looking for ways to get tax deductions, this is a good way to go. You can also share the page with all your friends online.
We also have the paypal button for donations directly to us. These funds will help pay for travel expenses.
And also the amazon link really does work! If you make your amazon purchases using the link, we get a percentage of the amount you spend on that purchase, up to 7%. It's not a ton, but even the little amounts add up.

I just want to thank everyone for the prayers, the donations of items to the garage sale, those that bought t-shirts and the monetary donations. We are greatly blessed by an awesome community of family and friends that are helping to give a child a forever home. A home where she's wanted and loved and cared for. We can't wait to bring her home to such a loving community.

You're such great people!

More and more, I am hearing these comments. "You're such great people." "You're doing an amazing thing.", "You're such great parents, this girl is gonna be so lucky.", etc. While, I appreciate the comments and know that they come from great hearts and a lot of times they come from hearts of encouragement. I can't help, but think on these comments sometimes and cringe.

I'm realizing that some people may think that we have it all together and that is why we are choosing to adopt. Or that they just don't have it in them or have it together enough themselves to do such a thing. And while I truly believe that not all people are called to adopt themselves and I'm totally ok with that, It makes me sad to think that there are some people that think things like, "I would love to adopt someday...maybe when this is in place or that is in place, or when I'm better at this one thing...". Like, maybe they do feel the call, but are worried that they aren't qualified or good enough or just don't have it together enough financially, physically or spiritually, etc. to take that leap. And I totally understand that some may be making the right choice by delaying if they truly feel they need to get some things in order before they adopt. But, I also know, from experience that many people can find reason after reason to not do something they feel a call to do. They could end up delaying it forever, because they end up never feeling like things aren't quite "perfect" enough to begin the adoption journey (or whatever other thing they may be feeling the longing/ call to do.)

I'm here to tell you that we don't have it all together. We aren't great people. We're sinners. We don't always feel good enough or equipped to be doing this. Financially, we didn't have all the money together to pay for this journey. Spiritually, we don't have all the answers. We sin on a daily, probably hourly basis. We aren't perfect parents. We mess up; we make mistakes. We fall short on a regular basis. We don't have it all together.

What we do have is a great and powerful God! We have a God that will equip us. Through this journey, He will grow and change us and make us more like the person we need to be to take this journey. He has already changed us throughout this journey so far. He has made me more compassionate, given me a broken heart for the things that break His heart. He has made me a better parent. Seeing and becoming more aware of what some kids have to go through has made me more compassionate toward my children. I'm being forced to have more patience. No choice when you're having to do lots of hurry up and wait throughout this process.

I came across Moses story in the bible the other day and it really encouraged me. " Then Moses said to the Lord, 'Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since You have spoken to your servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.' The Lord said to him, 'Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not, I the Lord? 'Now then go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth, and teach you what you are to say.'" A couple of things strike me in this verse. God didn't tell Moses that He would fix his mouth before hand or even that he would teach him what to say before he actually left to go on the journey. God told Moses to Go first and He would teach him what to say. Also, God was sure to let Moses know who was in charge, that He made man's mouth and that He was in charge of what that said mouth would do. Moses felt totally inadequate to do what God was telling him to do, but God let Moses know that He was going to equip him.

So, I really feel like many times, when we feel the longing; the call to do something that seems really major to us. Something that we feel totally inadequate to do, many of us tend to delay or hold off, waiting to be better, feel more ready, to feel more equipped. When, maybe, just maybe, we won't actually get equipped until we take that leap of faith first. Maybe God will use the journey along the way, to teach us and equip us for what He wants us to do. Our entire life is like that anyway, right? We are always learning, always changing and growing. We won't ever really have it all together until we are finally with Jesus, living in God's presence.

So, what have you been waiting to do? Maybe it's time to stop waiting for everything to be in place beforehand? Maybe God is waiting for you to take that leap of faith first, so He can equip you along the way.

Step by Step

Well, we are getting closer to getting our girl. This week we received our court approval on our home study. We are officially certified to adopt, according to the state of Arizona! This was a big step that we were waiting on.
Now, we can apply to USCIS (Immigration) to bring a child from China into the US. This step will take up to 3 months. Part of the process includes getting biometrics (fingerprinting) done. Most of the time, this is approved within about 35 to 40 days, if they don't require extra information or anything. Please pray that this step goes smoothly and quickly. This step could be the difference between a fall or winter gotcha day.
After immigration approval we can send that and the home study through the same process as all the other paperwork (Secretary of State certification and Chinese Consulate authentication). This will take a couple of weeks. Then, everything can go off to China. So, lets pray for this all to happen by June. That would be a huge blessing!

In other news, we are doing a t-shirt fundraiser. Who doesn't love a good t-shirt? And all to help bring a child home to a forever family. Please take a look and share with everyone you know.

https://www.bonfirefunds.com/widner-adoption-fund

Exciting things

So, as I stated in the previous post, we had some things happen this month. We've had some ups, we've had some downs. And we've had a really exciting past two weeks!
 Less than two weeks after we had to deny a referral of a little girl, we got another referral. This one was for an amazing little one year old girl. And she is so precious, the cutest little thing you ever did see! And we fell in love. So, after less than a week consulting with a couple of doctors, praying, talking with family and friends and praying some more, we decided that we would love to bring this little girl home. After turning in a letter of intent to adopt this little one and waiting another week, China sent us our pre-approval. This means that they agree to let us apply to adopt this specific little girl. So, with great excitement, we introduce to you....

So, you see why we are praying hard for things to get moving along with our home study and uscis approval?!? We are just a little bit in a hurry to bring this little girl home. Please join us in praying for things to speed up. Please pray for little Carissa. For her heart to be prepared for this journey ahead for her, for her to be in good health and spirits. And please pray that she will be joining our family sooner than later. :o)

 John 14:18. "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you"

Current events.

So, it was an eventful month in the Widner household. Besides all the normal activity stuff with the kids and their school and their sports, we had several things happen on the adoption front.
A few weeks back we got a referral for a little girl. She was a beautiful 4 year old girl that was just precious. We were so close to saying yes to bringing her home. After talking to a doctor about her and reviewing her file several times, I just had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. She just wasn't our girl. Part of it was, we had an unusually short amount of time to review her file (we are talking hours) and part of it was just that something didn't feel right. We couldn't come up with a yes, so we had to say no. It was so hard to say no. After calling the agency with our answer, I just dissolved into tears. It's an extremely difficult thing to do, to look at a child's video, see her picture, know she needs a family and have to admit to yourself that you just aren't the right family for her. Heartbreaking!
So, we moved on, praying that God would bring that precious girl her family very soon.

In the meantime, we got nearly all of our paperwork for our dossier done.(paperwork that goes to China with our application to adopt). Every piece of paper (there are a total of 13) has to go through several processes. First, you have to notarize it, then you send it to the secretary of state for them to say the notary is legit. Then, you have to send it to a Chinese consulate for them to put a stamp of approval that the document is a real and legitimate document. It has taken months for us to gather 11 of these documents and send them all through the process. So, this picture produced an awesome feeling. 11 out of 13 documents notarized, certified and authenticated. Yay!

So, what we are waiting on now, is our home study to be finalized and approved. Arizona has the lovely additional step of having to go through the juvenile courts for approval. So, we have to wait for that now. We had some delays at getting to this point. So, we are praying that this will go quickly. We would love your prayers that this approval will take closer to 30 days and not the 60 days they are allowed to take.
After (or possibly while we are waiting) local court approval, our international placing agency, CCAI, has to look over the home study and make sure everything is just right. When they approve it, we can send it to United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS). Here they will, hopefully, approve us to bring a child into the United States. This time frame can be huge. Depending on if they decide they need clarification on something or proof of something we have in our home study. Please pray this will not happen and things will get approved quickly (quick is like 35 days for this process). :o)  Since, the home study is taking so much longer to get finished then expected, we could really use a break on this step.
After those two things are done, we have to send those through the same process as the other 11 documents. Then, we send them all to CCAI for them to look over with a fine tooth comb. (Hopefully everything will be perfect.) After they look it over, they will bind it up, make it look professional and pretty and send it off to China. And then the waiting begins...
I'm gonna have to double blog this one. Because, before I explain the rest of the process, I would like to let you know of another event that happened this past couple of weeks.
Stay tuned...

What I know trumps how I feel....

"What I know trumps how I feel". Our former pastor at our church was known to say this quite often. It kind of has become a theme of many people in our church. And I'm reminding myself of this through this process.

What I feel: I struggle off and on with fear of the unknown, fear of what the future could hold, fear of losing friends, family and money.
What I know: I must try very hard not to make decisions based on fear!

Deuteronomy 31:6   Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you

 Psalm 27:1   The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

 Isaiah 41:10  So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

 1 Peter 3:13-14   Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.

Romans 8:15  For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”

 

What I feel: need for comfort, my space, my time. Sometimes just being selfish and wanting to just take care of me.

What I know: Life's not about me.

 

Philippians 2:1-4   If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others

Romans 15:1-2   We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up

 
1 Corinthians 13:4-6   Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

 

And most of all, when I'm feeling stress about the adoption, struggling with worry about how this is going to affect our lives, just kind of wigging out a bit. I remind myself of these things I do feel in my heart, but I also know.

James 1:2   Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.


John 14:18  I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.


Psalm 68:5-6   Father to the fatherless, defender of widows- this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.


Matthew 18:5   And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.

 Psalm 82:3  Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed

Matthew 25:40  The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me".

 

 

Days like this...

There are days on this journey that are just plain overwhelming. When you sit to work on some paperwork, to see what needs to be done next and you make the mistake of looking too far ahead, or you look at too much at once, or you realize you have a piece of paperwork that might have a mistake and it needs to be redone. And it just hits you, "This is so much! It's too hard!". And it just feels near impossible. I had a day like that.

I know better. I know to just take one thing at a time, but I made the mistake of looking it all over. I looked at dossier paperwork I needed to get done. Plus, I was beginning to fill out a grant application. At the same time, I realized I had forgotten to get something done that was on my list (in my not-so-high-functioning head) to get done this week. I also got a piece of paperwork in last week that had a mistake and it's taking me forever to get the person responsible to correct it. And so, I just sat there, staring at all this "stuff" and got completely overwhelmed. I just had to stop and take a break. And so I ended the day feeling like I had accomplished nothing.

But, God...

So, there I was, just getting to work, after my failed attempt at paperwork, feeling so "blah", when I get a call from my hubby. He proceeds to tell me that we had received a $1000 donation! I was floored! Totally unexpected! A huge blessing! And I felt like I had a bop on the back of the head.  "See! I got this." That's what I felt God was telling me. It really made me feel like He was letting me know that He has got things covered. Nudging me to continue doing my part and not give up.

It is such a humbling feeling to know that there are people out there so excited to help. Some just as excited to see us bring our girl home as we are. Some even being led to give sacrificially to help us on our journey. I feel like I totally don't deserve any of this help, any of this kindness. But, I also know that this isn't about me at all. It's about an orphaned child. It's about God providing a family for a child. Most importantly, it's about this little girl, someday soon, knowing how much God loves her, how special she is. It's about her knowing that she may have been born into loneliness and abandonment, but that God has a plan for her. He never has and never will abandon her. And she really is a real, live princess! God's little girl!

So, I will take God's hint, this proof of His provision and I will march forward. Because we have a child to go find and I want to do all I can to bring her home. I'll take one step at a time, one piece of paperwork at a time. And I don't need to worry about anything. Because, whether or not this journey works out the way I hope it will, or as fast as I would like it to, it's going to work out for the best. Because, God's got my back!


Hebrews 12:1-2  Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.